It’s a “Dealing With Holiday Grief” Saturday.
LORD, WE BELIEVE YOUR WORD WHICH TELLS US THAT WEEPING MAY ENDURE FOR A NIGHT BUT JOY COMES IN THE MORNING. HELP US MAKE IT THROUGH THE NIGHT. AMEN.
I don’t know if you have noticed that the obituary section of the newspaper is much larger. There seems to be a lot more people dying this time of the year. My grandmother would say it’s because the year must take its toll. Regardless of the reason I know that during the holiday season many of us have to deal with death and grieving the loss of a loved one.
Now holidays can be challenging when we are grieving. Our culture often sets up unrealistic expectations around the holidays that can almost never be met. Knowing, accepting and communicating our limitations to ourselves and to others during the holidays can be helpful and liberating. Here are a few tips, for those of you who are grieving, to get you through the holiday season:
1. Remember that the anxiety approaching the holiday or holiday season can sometimes be more difficult to manage then the holiday itself.
2. Deep breathing, rest and drinking plenty of water can help to sustain the body during times of stress. The stress of the season can take a toll on our bodies.
3. Allow yourself to feel whatever emotion you need to feel. There is no right or wrong way to feel; and your feelings may change – sometimes quickly. Realize that experiencing happiness and/or joy does not mean that you are not grieving or that you no longer love or respect the deceased individual.
4. Remember that everyone grieves differently. Some members of your family may need to be active, open and vocal in their grief while others may need to be quieter, more solemn or less active.
5. Know that you have choices. Some families like to maintain long – held traditions as a source of comfort, security and predictability. Others prefer to change the routine and to create new traditions. Sometimes getting input from relatives can help when deciding what to do on holidays.
6. Clear, open and honest communication about feelings, needs and activities can alleviate confusion and can help to manage expectations.
7. Realize that you may need to have some time alone during the holiday season.
8. Set small and manageable goals for yourself, especially regarding things like shopping, wrapping, decorating, cooking, cleaning and entertaining. You may wish to ask others for assistance.
9. Some family ritualistic activities may be comforting during the holiday season. This can be as simple as lighting a candle in remembrance of the person or placing a picture of the person out where you and others can see it.
10. Develop a time for sharing about the deceased person. Sharing thoughts, loving memories and/or stories can provide a sense that the person is still involved in the holiday season.
11. Be aware and realize that some people may do or say things that are not helpful to your grieving process during the holidays. Remember, most of these individuals are simply not sure what to say, what to do, or how to provide support.
12. If you feel it would help you, do something in memory of the person who died. Do something worthwhile that can be done with the memory of the person in mind.
13. Remember that holidays like everything else shall pass. They do come to an end. Self-care, genuine support from others, clear and loving communication, setting boundaries and keeping reasonable expectations of yourself and others can facilitate a safe and healthy grieving process during the holidays.
14. But most of all learn and develop a life of prayer. A personal relationship with God can help you deal with any hardship that you can face in life. God is able and willing to help you through this hard time. As the song writer said: “Tis no secret what God can do, what He’s done for others He will do for you.” With Gods’ help you can make it. What do you think?
This is Rev. Dr. Wm. Rocky Brown, 3rd letting you know that GOD and I Love you and we approve this message because we want to motivate your mind, body & soul. So be happy and enjoy the blessings of The LORD today my friend! Please subscribe to my web site to continue to receive these daily messages at: http://www.yourspiritualmotivation.com
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